Scribe for ORANG UTAN HHH MALACCA PUB HASH RUN

on 11-9-2003

11-9-2003 was a very special day. It was a Thursday when Orang Utan HHH would hold their normal hash run, but it was also a full moon day of the 8th month according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar, and it was the exact day of the Moon Cakes festival, and also to add it further it was also a day of the second anniversary commemorations of the attack of World Trade Center.

In view of this special day, Orang Utan HHH with the generosity of the hares, T C Eng and Jimmy Chong, had organized a pub hash run right in the city of Melaka. The hares got an idea that when we ran, our heart pounded and so we achieved the effect of exercising our heart. To save energy expended in the leg muscles, we could achieve the same effect of exercising our heart by drinking sufficient beer or wine at check points and hence the birth of the idea of pub hash run.

So for this day, Orang Utan HHH was a drinking club not only with a running problem but also attempting to enhance the problem.

A few members of the Malacca Hash House Harriers, including GM, Captain Tay and myself were invited to participate this pub hash run, and by 6.00 pm, the pack of more than a hundred hashers was already waiting patiently for the big event.50% of the hashers were invited guests from other chapters of the HHH . The run site was at the back of the Century Mahkota Hotel near the sea. The scenery was beautiful with the Pulau Melaka across the sea with nearly completed buildings painted vivid yellow, and the jetty was on the right hand side. The sea was calm, and the weather was fine and cool, far away one could see the spectacular casino cruise floating leisurely around. All of a sudden, I felt that Melaka was so beautiful which I failed to notice before.GM of Orang Utan HHH Steven gave a welcome speech and explained the rules of the pub hash run and there would be a marker at every check point and a hasher who scb or missed a check point would be severely punished.i.e. sitting on ice. For Orang Utan HHH, sitting on ice is a very serious matter; you have to strip your bottom and sit on a bucket of icy water floating with crumpled ice pieces, where after the penalty your " little brother " would shrink to beyond recognition. You had better not to push your luck too far. " Watch the traffic " was the golden advice given by the thoughtful GM.

" ON On " was shouted and the pack zoomed off along the side track at the back of the Century Mahkota Hotel and headed towards to the first check point, a pub named ' Melaka Beer' situated at the end of the jetty.The rhythmic pounding steps of the runners on the wooden floor of the jetty created a lovely symphony orchestra. At the first check point, every hasher was given a new T shirt with a picture of President Bush and Osama sitting side by side on ice at the back.You had to wear the T shirt on the spot whereas your old T shirt would be kept and returned afterwards. Beer was served on the spot and you could drink as much as you could if you were not worried that you could not finish all the subsequent checkpoints. Direction of the second check point was given and it was a pub called ' High Bridge Cafe' after crossing underneath the state of the art ,the Melaka Raya Bridge. Two young pretty ladies served the beer and you collected a red ribbon as a marker. The third check point was on the top of St Paul Hill whereby you ran through and tended to knock on so many tourists mainly from China, including some pretty ladies. At the top of the hill, you would be stamped with a ' Tow Kuow ' stamp on your arm as a marker. By then I met up with the GM & Co. The fourth check point would be at the pub along Bandar Hilir road near the Shell station, Phew! that was a long stretch of run of the day, and by then with a full stomach of beer, one could feel the sweat flowing out incredibly. Perhaps, hare T C Eng is right. One could feel the heart pounding especially hard at this stage.Now we came to pub Summer Feel Garden, the fourth check point which was interesting. Other than a serve of beer, a young pretty girl was ready there using a ' Tow Kuow ' stamp to stamp it on your nipple as a marker. Phew! you could almost feel the orgasm momentarily at once.After that we ran through the kampung lanes and out to the main road to search for the fifth check. Ha, the Green World Bistro where you collected a blue ribbon as a marker, of course beer was served. The sixth check point was at pub Straits Heritage Lodge along the same side of the main road.A new running short was given but you had to change it on the spot, your old short was kept and would be returned later, beer was again served. Across the main road, the last check was at the big liquor shop of the hare T C Eng,The LEC Wine Cellar.The hare himself gave a lucky draw ticket and an invitational ticket for a wine tasting session on 19-9-03 night at LEC Wine Cellar as a marker, and red wine was served on the spot. After that we ran along the main road and back to the run site and by then we could perhaps only run staggeringly and felt lucky to be back.

That was not all and in fact the bash had just started and the beer free flowing! The hash circle was a big one with everyone a bottle on hand which must contain beer rounding a circle watching the Grandmaster carrying judiciary penalty, sitting on ice, with whatever reason he could think of. Some of them were so afraid to be picked, holding bottle shakily and keeping very low profile to avoid the unlucky pick. Ha! both the grandmasters of Orang Utan HHH and Malacca Hash House Harriers said something stupid and were also put sitting on ice. The hares had to sit on ice by nature of their duty. By 8.00 pm, the ceremony of hash circle had completed, and the whole pack adjourned themselves at the Siang Yein Restaurant at Cheng Baru where " On On " was held.

At Siang Yien restaurant, ten tables were fully occupied, with the beer and wine free flowing. The highlight of " On On " was the skit put up by Batu Api and Elton Chan while Batu Api disguised as President Bush and Elton Chan, Osama. Both were arguing world peace individually near to a fight and finally with the mitigation of the Grandmaster of Orang Utan HHH and the hare T C Eng, President Bush and Osama agreed to sit side by side drinking red wine and enjoying Chinese moon cakes wishing peace for the world. That was a pretty good skit, and one 'On Down' to the hares and the performers.

Finally, came to the lucky draws and 23 prizes were given. The first prize which was opened up was a bottle of 'XO'. The fun continued until close to 11.00 pm before the party was ended.

Verdict: The hash function was superb and the hares must have spent a fortune for it, how much a member paid was not known, but I know the guest fee was a mere RM 10. This run should be classified as a " Rich and Famous Hash Run " ! A big " THANK YOU " for the hares on behalf of the invited guests of the MALACCA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

Script by Websitekang of MH3